How Stressful is Infertility? Understanding the Weight of Infertility
Infertility is a deeply personal and challenging experience that extends far beyond the medical aspects of treatment. For many individuals and couples, navigating infertility is the biggest stressor they have faced so far in life. It can involve a whole new world of uncertainty, decisions, and emotions - hopefulness, but also grief, anger, sadness, and longing. Making you also wonder, “Can infertility can cause anxiety?”. There is the strain of medical procedures, endless appointments, decisions about treatment options, and navigating something so emotionally and logistically significant largely in secret. Despite these challenges, there is still the possibility of growth, hope, and resilience.
At Dr. Dawn Johnson & Associates, we recognize the need for whole-person support as you navigate infertility. Whether providing space to process difficult emotions in anxiety therapy, to reflect on personal values, or to express unfiltered thoughts on the experience of infertility or the possibility of a child-free life, our infertility-informed anxiety therapists provide safe, non-judgmental support. In this blog, we will explore the emotional impact of infertility, coping strategies and avenues for support, and empowering individuals to navigate this journey with courage and hope.
How Does Infertility Make You Feel?
Infertility can evoke a range of emotions that deeply affect individuals and couples. Sadness and longing for parenthood, and the disappointment of delayed dreams. Anger and frustration from the perceived unfairness and lack of control over reproductive health. Stress can range from medical procedures to financial strains, and relationship challenges. Feelings of shame, guilt, loss, and inadequacy may surface, as individuals grapple with both internal and societal expectations. There’s also hope fueled by medical advancements, positive treatment news, and support networks, even as the constant cycle of hope, disappointment, and uncertainty adds to emotional turmoil.
Why Infertility is So Hard
Infertility challenges not only one's physical health but also one's mental and emotional well-being. Research has found that individuals navigating infertility experience levels of anxiety and depression similar to patients facing cancer or heart disease. Yet due to cultural norms of secrecy around fertility, they often do so without the outpouring of support and understanding that others might receive. Many individuals and couples experiencing infertility experience a sense of grief and loss as they realize that their vision of building a family may not come to fruition in the way that they had imagined. While there may be hope, excitement, and gratitude for the options that are available, the extended state of uncertainty and ongoing cycles of hope and disappointment can lead to a rollercoaster of anticipation and uncertainty. Looking towards the future can be helpful, but it can also make it difficult to balance living in the moment, leading to a feeling that your life is on hold.
The financial and logistical strains of infertility add another layer of stress. The high cost of fertility treatments and medications, coupled with the lack of insurance coverage and the need to miss work for appointments, can be a significant strain. Rationally, infertility can bring closeness to partners navigating the experience together, but can also make it difficult for couples to enjoy their time together, to recapture sex for fun and connection rather than fertility timing, and to have the emotional resources to support each other when both partners are under strain for so long.
Few stressors in life impact the emotional, physical, logistical, financial, and relational aspects of life in the way that infertility can. If you or a loved one are navigating infertility, don’t hesitate to reach out for support.
How to Mentally Cope With Infertility?
Infertility is an incredibly demanding experience. It can be stressful and at times make you wonder, “What is the psychological impact of infertility?”. While you may have built strong coping skills and social supports in the past, it can be helpful to take stock of the coping resources you have available, areas that you could perhaps draw upon more actively, and areas that may need to be added to your toolbox.
It may sound cliche, but self-care activities such as mindfulness meditation, exercise, and creative expression have a great evidence base for their ability to help manage stress and promote emotional well-being, particularly during challenging times. Building a meditation practice using a free app for just a few minutes a day, in particular, can help strengthen your ability to tolerate difficult emotions and to remain focused on the present - two things sorely tested by infertility. Building a support network of friends, family, or others who have experienced infertility can also provide invaluable emotional support and understanding, helping you feel less alone. It can be particularly helpful if there are friends you feel comfortable confiding in, and who will understand if some days you need to cancel last minute as you may not feel physically or emotionally up to getting together. Maintaining open communication with your partner about your feelings and experiences can strengthen your bond and provide mutual support as you navigate the challenges of infertility together.
If you can, continuing to experience new things together, unrelated to infertility, is shown to help keep relationships strong. Professional support can also be an important aspect of coping with infertility. Psychotherapy with a clinician (psychologist, social worker, counselor) specializing in infertility and anxiety can provide support and guidance through the process. Antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication, which can often be prescribed by your primary care doctor or OBGYN, can also provide helpful support. Infertility can be incredibly stressful, but you already have many of the resources that you need to navigate it. It can help to write down a resource list that you can refer to in hard times, when your brain may not be able to pull this information together and to work through that list as you seek to build your family.
How do I Keep Hope During Infertility?
It can be hard to maintain hope during infertility, especially as you put so much energy and effort into a process without a guaranteed outcome. Intentionally fostering a mindset of hope is shown to have a positive impact on the mood and experiences of individuals facing health concerns, and can help you and your partner maintain the energy you need in what can be a marathon rather than a sprint. Centering yourself and what you can control often helps in maintaining hope. While making space for any sadness or anger you feel, see if you can orient towards the “true but positive,” intentionally seeking the options that you do have and noting the resources of health, finances, or location that allow you to pursue them. This isn’t meant to ignore the significant losses or negatives you face during infertility but to make sure the negatives are not crowding out what positives there may be.
Surrounding yourself with supportive loved ones and investing time in activities that remind you of life outside of fertility can also help. Hearing the stories of others who faced infertility can also combat loneliness and bring reassurance that you too will find your way back to happiness. Infertility is often a long journey, and it can be difficult to see the growth, grace, and joy in the midst of the strain. Working to incorporate infertility in the broader, positive, narrative of your life can help to increase perspective and hopefulness. If this feels difficult to do in the midst of your infertility struggles, an infertility-informed anxiety therapist, supportive friend or clergy member can help you hold space for hope in difficult moments.
Navigating Infertility with Support and Resilience
The stress of infertility can feel overwhelming, but it's important to remember that you can do this. Taking the steps to make time for self-care, lean on your social support, learn “How to emotionally deal with infertility?”, and seek help from medical providers can help lighten your burden. At Dr. Dawn Johnson & Associates, our infertility-informed anxiety therapists are here to provide the compassionate care and support you need to navigate this stressful time with resilience and hope.
Find Support With Your Infertility Anxiety With Anxiety Therapy in Washington, D.C.
Understand the profound stress of infertility and find the support you need through professional anxiety therapy. Our compassionate anxiety therapists at Dr. Dawn Johnson & Associates specialize in helping individuals cope with the emotional burden of infertility, offering tailored strategies to manage stress. Begin your journey to emotional resilience and healing. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
Schedule a free 20-minute consultation to see if Anxiety Therapy is right for you.
Begin meeting with one of our skilled anxiety therapists.
Start your journey to healing from infertility anxiety.
Other Services Offered at Dr. Dawn Johnson & Associates in Washington D.C. & Virginia
At Dr. Dawn Johnson & Associates, we want to help you thrive. In addition to helping you manage your infertility anxiety with anxiety therapy, we also offer services for those struggling with depression, relationships, infertility, academic or work concerns, disordered eating, and more.